Tractor Pulled Pork

 

In the good old days, this was a farm house favorite, but it took a lot of work to prepare properly. First you had to wire up the pork roast so it wouldn't totally dissolve when you hitched it up to the tractor. Then you had to take it in every night so the wild dogs wouldn't get it, since it took at least three days pulling behind the tractor to get the meat properly tender.

A few suburbanites still make this dish, steadfastly trailing their wired roast behind their U-Ride-Em lawn mowers, but as purists like to point out, this gives the pork a grassy flavor. A suburban lawn is really no substitute for country acres in preparing this American favorite.

That's why we stock pre-pulled pork roasts at most Food Tiger stores and if we don't have a tractor pulled roast in stock, your butcher can always order one for you. Food Tiger pulled pork is pulled through acres of mud and then, and this is a Food Tiger specialty, pulled down interstates and highways by our distinctively scented meat delivery trucks.

This means you can serve your family tractor pulled pork all the year round and it takes no more effort than nuking a couple of packs of Lean Cuisine® in the microwave.

INGREDIENTS

INSTRUCTIONS

  1. Remove the roast from its protective bindings and wrap it with the plastic wrap, being careful to cover it completely. DO NOT RINSE THE ROAST BEFORE WRAPPING IT OR YOU RISK LOSING SOME OF THIS DISH'S DELICATE FLAVOR.
  2. Set your microwave on Stun and cook slowly for 5 minutes a pound, so that would be, 20 minutes for a 4 pound roast.
  3. While the roast is cooking, mix the corn flakes, gravel and scrubbing pads in a large bowl and kind of maul at it with two sturdy salad forks or a pair of those weed pullers.
  4. When the roast is done, toss it into the mix and bat it about until it is nicely coated.
  5. Serve it warm as a centerpiece of your all American meal.

© Copyright Kaleberg Symbionts 1997

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