Mom's Clonox Chicken

This classic dish used to be a Sunday after church specialty, but now the only folks doing Clonox cookery are ex-pats living in third world countries where industrial food processing has yet to destroy native dining traditions. You probably remember this dish from your childhood, sitting patiently through the sermon while secretly longing for that pungent scent of chlorine in your nostrils.

Don't let that old Clonox go stale on your laundry shelf waiting for some nasty laundry disaster. Get that "little white jug" up to your kitchen and revive the tradition of Clonox cooking with this succulent dish.

Or, if you are pressed for time, use our Food Tiger pre-Clonox-ed chicken, sold in a sturdy, leak-proof, disposable baking dish. Not everyone wants to fuss around with powerful and possibly toxic liquid bleaching products, so Food Tiger has made it easy for you to enjoy Mom's Clonox chicken even if you don't have time to cook.

Whether you "bleach" your own or use our Food Tiger time savers, treat your family to something loved from your own childhood.

INGREDIENTS

• 3 - 4 lb chicken
• 1 quart of Clonox - You can use the lemon scented variety, but the Clonox Original Scent gives this dish that added kick of authenticity.

or

• 3 - 4 lb Food Tiger pre-Clonox-ed chicken

but, in either case

• about 1 gallon peanut or canola oil
• 4 tbsp chile paste
• 2 tsp Comet or other brand scouring powder

INSTRUCTIONS

1. If you are making this dish the old fashioned way, start the night before by putting the chicken in a large baking dish and adding a quart of Clonox. Then fill the dish with enough water to cover the chicken. You can store this dish in your refrigerator, or, if the fumes are too much for you, out on your back porch. The Clonox not only kills bacteria, but it repels night time foragers.

About an hour before serving:

1. Bring the oil to 325 degrees Fahrenheit using a deep fat thermometer to check the temperature if you don't have an electric deep frier.
2. Rub the chicken with a mixture of the chile paste and scouring powder.
3. Deep fry the chicken for 25 - 30 minutes, until the meat is as stiff as a board and glows slightly in the dark.
4. Garnish with sponges, cleaning pads and other little thingamajigs you have flopping around your kitchen.

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